The Fool and His Folly

There once was a jolly fool
And everybody thought he was cool
Until one day God a plan unfurled

Unbeknownst to all and to many
The fool was spending every spare penny
Thus was the fool trapped by his own folly

One day as the fool spent his last
A window of opportunity fell fast
Movement he saw from one and from many

A friendly man saw him there
With his wallet completely bare
And tried to reason him out

He realized he was caught
And paniced and faught
Until all his energy was spent

Realizing the error his ways
The fool sat and cried for days
Finding out the full damage his spending spent

To late was the cry
That the fool heard on nie
But could now not do a thing

His heart broke as he saw his closest friends
Hurt by what he'd done, call an end
Until finally all alone he wept

God called out to the fool there
All alone and totally bare
And asked to keep him company

The fool did desparately consent
And tried his best to repent
Of his past sins before God and man

In his future, consequences he saw there
Knowing that he would just have to bear
Even though his sin was taken

The fool became a wiser man that day
Than any of his life or his way
And prays for healing and restoration

Although the fool's future is uncertain
He relies on God to see though the curtain
And stopped spending his treasure on nothing

Spritual Disciplines

As most of you know, I had a bit of a talk on Sunday, and so as I promised a couple of people... here it is, posted in full:

Spiritual Disciplines
What can we do practically to prepare for heaven?

When we get saved, two processes occur.
o Justification happens instantly; think of it as a 'just as if I'd never sinned'. It is when Christ enters our heart for the first time and makes us new creations.
o The second thing that occurs is Sanctification an ongoing process where the Holy Spirit helps us to become more like Christ every day, going from glory to glory

Think of it as an 'already' and a 'not yet' e.g. I ALREADY belong in heaven, because Jesus saved me, but I'm NOT there YET, because God hasn't finished working in me.

These two processes need to be kept in balance with each other. Focusing only on justification leads to a lack of motivation, "If Jesus did it all for me then I don't have to do anything" while focusing only on sanctification can lead to the 'good works salvation' just like the Pharisees in the bible, Jesus quotes from Isaiah in Matthew 15:8 "These people show honour to me with words, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is worthless. The things they teach are nothing but human rules."

The word sanctification comes from the verb sanctify, which comes from the Greek word 'hagiazo' which means:
1. Set apart for sacred use, made holy and pure), consecrated.
2. Made holy, pure.
3. Sanctioned as with an oath or vow
4. To grant moral sanction to.
5. Made useful by holiness or spiritual blessing.

In the Bible, sanctification generally relates to a sovereign act of God whereby He "set's apart" a person, place or thing in order that His purposes can be accomplished. There are many occurrences of things being sanctified in the Old Testament.

o Exodus 29:43 "And there I will meet with the children of Israel, and the tabernacle shall be sanctified by My glory."
o Genesis: 2:3 "Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made."
o Hebrews 10:14 says, "For by one offering He (Talking about Jesus' death on the cross) has perfected forever those who are being sanctified."

How does sanctification occur?
Sanctification starts when we get saved. At the moment of conversion, the Holy Spirit enters our life. We are set free from sin and are able to do the good things that God has planned for us. Unlike people of places in the Bible, people still have the capacity to sin. Any new Christian will be able to tell you of the battle being waged in our mind between the old habits and the Spirit living inside us.

o Galatians 5:17: "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish."
o In 1 John 3:2 it says "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is."

It's talking about complete sanctification; however this won't occur in your earthly life. It is talking about after we die, or when Christ returns, when we receive new glorified / completely sanctified bodies.

How do we become sanctified?
The outward effects of sanctification are the fruits of the Spirit, listed in Galatians 5:22-23a "But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." However, try as we might, we cannot sanctify ourselves, it's impossible to change ourselves by sheer power of will, you might escape some habits by doing so, but you'll always return to them sooner or later. The only way that we can be changed is through the Holy Spirit and His process of sanctification. However there are things that we can do to open the way for the sanctification process to occur. These things are the spiritual disciplines.

Discipline is almost a dirty word in our culture today; it always entails "stuff that we don't want to do". One definition that stood out to me was "any activity within our power that we engage in to enable us to do what we cannot do by direct effort." And it takes HARD WORK. Exercise is a great example. It's hard to do, especially when you're tired and all you want to do is sit in front of the TV and veg out for night, but the benefits are worth the pain. The Olympic athletes know about the worth of discipline, when they stand on that top tier holding their gold medal, they'll tell you the pain was worth it. And just as physical discipline has benefits so does spiritual discipline.

o Paul says to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:8 "Training your body helps you in some ways, but serving God helps you in every way by bringing you blessings in this life and in the future."
o And 1 Corinthians 9:26-27 "So I do not run without a goal. I fight like a boxer who is hitting something - not just air. I treat my body hard and make it my slave so that I myself will not be disqualified after I have preached to others."
o Hebrews 12:9 says "We have all had fathers here on earth who disciplined us, and we respected them. So it is even more important that we accept discipline from the Father of our spirits so we will have life."

Richard Foster, in his book 'Celebration of Discipline' uses two metaphors to illustrate the purpose of disciplines: a field and a path.

A farmer is helpless to grow grain; all he can do is provide the right conditions for the growing of grain. He cultivates the ground, he plants the seed, he waters the plants, and then natural forces of the earth take over and up come the grain. This is the way it is with the Spiritual Disciplines. They are a way of sowing to the Spirit.

The spiritual disciplines are "a means of receiving God's grace, they allow us to place ourselves before God so he can transform us." He goes on to say that the spiritual disciplines are like a narrow ridge with a sheer drop-off on either side: there is the abyss of trust in works on one side and the abyss of faith without deeds on the other. On the ridge there is a path, the disciplines of the spiritual life. We must always remember that the path does not produce change; it only places us where the change can occur.

The task for us then is to cultivate our daily lives into fertile ground in which God can bring growth and change. This is what the spiritual disciplines are all about.

What are the spiritual disciplines?
" Celebration
o Philippians 4:4 "Be full of joy in the Lord always. I will say again, be full of joy."
o Another version says "Rejoice in the Lord". Part of being a Christian is celebrating the good things that God gives us.
" Confession
o James 5:16 "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you."
o This is a very important part of being a Christian. Confession and accountability can be hard at the best of times, no one likes to screw up and even less admits to it. The open confession of our sins to one another helps us to understand and help each other. It provides an avenue for the grace of God to come into our lives and set us free.

" Fasting
o There are many examples of fasting in the bible, probably the most famous one being Jesus' temptation in the desert where he fasted for 40 days and nights. Fasting can have many purposes. David fasted for his first son from Bathsheba so that he might live. Jesus said that some kinds of spirits would only come out through fasting.

" Guidance
o John 16:13 "But when the Spirit of Truth comes, He will lead you into all truth. He will not speak His own words, but He will speak only what He hears [from the Father], and He will tell you what is to come."
o We all need guidance at some point, and God should always be our guide. Every effort should be made to hear the voice of God. Under Him, are the people He places in our lives, mentors, accountability partners and disciples.

" Prayer
o Ephesians 6:18a "Pray in the Spirit at all times with all kinds of prayers, asking for everything you need."
o Philippians 4:6 "Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks."
o Without communication, any relationship will fail. And that is all that prayer is, open and honest communication with God. He is open to hear us at any time on any subject.

" Service
o 1 Corinthians 12:5 "There are different ways to serve, but the same Lord to serve"
o Matthew 23:11 "and you should not be called 'Master', because you have only one Master, the Christ."
o Jesus was the greatest servant of all. He served almost everyone that He came into contact with. True service is about humility, not doing it to get approval or acclaim, but simply serving for God.

" Simplicity or Self Denial
o Matthew 6:21 "Your heart will be where your treasure is."
o Philippians 4:12 "I know how to live when I am poor, and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens, when I have more than I need and when I don not have enough."
o Living simply, doesn't mean giving away all your possessions, is simply means that your possessions are not your focus. You don't use them to draw attention to yourself

" Solitude
o Solitude or time alone with God is a big must for a proper relationship, just as time alone with your spouse or best friend can be very important to grow the relationship, so it is with God. We NEED to take some time out to spend simply alone with God.

" Study
o 2 Timothy 3:16-17 "All scripture is given by God and is useful for teaching, for showing people what is wrong in their lives, for correcting faults and for teaching how to live right. Using scriptures, the person who serves God will be capable, having all that is needed to do every good work."
o The only way to learn about something is to study it, and the same is true of God. What better resource than Him own auto-biography, the Bible, to study from?

" Submission
o Ephesians 5:21 "Yield to and obey one another because you respect Christ."
o Matthew 23:10 "and you should not be called 'Master', because you have only one Master, the Christ."
o Submission can be one of the hardest disciplines to master. Everyone likes to have things done their own way. A great example of submission was King David, a man after God's own heart, who even though Saul tried to kill him many times, kept serving his king in the best way he knew, right up until Saul's death. Even then David avenged Saul, saying "You are responsible for your own death, You confessed by saying, 'I have killed the Lord's appointed king.'" (2 Samuel 1:16)

" Worship
o Romans 12:1 "So brothers and sisters, since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to Him. Your offering must be only for God as pleasing to Him, whish is the spiritual way for you to worship."
o Hebrews 13:15 "So through Jesus let us always offer to God our sacrifice of praise, coming from lips that speak His name."
o John 4:24 "God is spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth."
o Many Christians these days think that worship is a 1/2 an hour of singing praise songs while a band gets up on stage and plays...nothing could be further from the truth. Worship is simply giving to God what is His due. Every part of the Christian walk can be tied into worship in some way. So even to worship is a spiritual discipline, the spiritual disciplines are all part of worship. As we worship, God's presence becomes real to us.

Cheerio, D-Man

Egads! Not another survey!

Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 20
Sign: Gemini? I think...not to sure, don't really go for star signs

The answers to all of lifes questions.

Random Qs

Life:
High School: Was heaps good
Primary School: Yeah, was ok, for a fringe kid I did aight
Favourite Soda: Creamy Soda
Favourite fruit: At the moment, it would have to be banana...I've had dreams, sooo good
Favourite weather: Warm, slightly winding, with storm clouds on the horizon...balisimo

Do You:
Like someone: As friends, I like everyone
Want more piercings: Nope
Want a tattoo: Nope

Last:
Person talked to in person?: Hmm...Justin, my boss
Person talked to/texted on the phone?: Widget on the phone
Person you hung out with: Everyone
Movie watched: The DaVinci Code (CRAP!!)
Last movie saw in theatre: Lady in the Water

Ever:
Ever cried over a girl or boy: Yeah
Ever had a friend die: Nope
Ever dated: Never
Ever finished a puzzle: Um...no? Duh! Everyone's finished at least 1 puzzle in their life
Ever had surgery: Do stiches count?
Ever hated someone: Not really...hate is such a strong word

Pick one:
Blue or red?: Blue
Spring or Fall?: Autumn

Random stuff:
Do you speak a different language?: A little bit of french..not enough to be coherent..I mainly specialize in accents and voices
How old do you act?: 20 maybe? 17 at the least
Braces: Nope
Do you have any pets?: Fish, cats...that's about it
Mood?: Bored

The 400000000000000000 W's Questions:
Who is in the room with you?: My work mates
Who is the girl/guy you like?: I'll let God decide that one
Who was the last girl/guy you told I love you?: Definately mum, she's awesome
Who gets on your nerves the most from school?: Well, since I'm not actually at school anymore, I guess that lets me off the hook for that one
What was the last thing you ate?: Timtam
What was the last thing you drank?: Orange juice
What colour pants are you wearing?: Slightly faded black jeans
What is the closest item near you that is blue?: Mizone bottle
What are you wearing on your feet?: Runners
What instant messaging service do you use? MSN.
What do you wear more, jeans or shorts?: Jeans
What do you currently hate? Old habits and lethargy
When is your birthday? June 13
Where is your cell phone?: On the desk in front of me
Where do you sleep? In my room, usually
Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? Birthday present from Grandma
Where did you take you last take a car ride to? Home

--------------

L0VE SURVEY

You must answer every question... with the TRUTH!

1). Is there someone who you like at the moment?
Nope

2). Have you ever given or been given roses?
Wanted to

3). What is your all time favorite romance movie?
At the moment? Probably The Notebook or Romeo and Juliet

4). How many times can you honestly say you've been in love?
Depends on your definition of love doesn't it...

5). Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
Definately

6). Do you think that you should become friends with someone first?
Hell yeah

7). Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yep

8). What do you think about long-distance relationships?
I think that unless the couple are really commited, long distance relationships don't work and even then not for very long

9). Your thoughts on online relationships?
Crap

10). Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger?
Well, I don't date, but if I did, I'd be easy, except atm probably older because younger would make then 15....wrong much?

11). Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
Sometimes

12). Do you believe the statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater?"
Nope


13). How many kids do you want to have?
Probably at least 3

14). Do you usually fall for a wrong boy/girl or the right boy/girl?
Well the chances of falling for the right one is about 1 in a couple hundred of million so, I guess I keep falling for the wrong one until God reveals the right one aye.

15). What is your favorite colour(s)?
Depends on my mood

16). What are your views on gay marriage?
Eww

17)Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I hope not, but probably

18). Imagine you're 79 & your spouse just died, would you re-marry?
Probably not

19). At what age did you start noticing the opposite sex?
Probably around 10 or so...

20)what song do you want to hear at your wedding?
Haven't decided yet...everytime I think of marriage it seems further and further off...so I've stopped thinking about it in the hopes that it'll come quicker ;)

-------------------

BEDROOM SURVEY
NO LYING!!
Do you have the following in your room:

[ ] desk
[ ] condoms
[x] lamps
[x] cell phone
[x] stool
[ ] book shelf
[x] dresser
[x] computer / laptop
[ ] bean bag
[x] pictures
[ ] mirror
[x] skateboard
[x] bed
[x] clothes on the floor
[ ] plastic flamingo
[ ] surfboard
[ ] lava lamp
[ ] smoke detector
[ ] piano/keyboard
[ ] locking door
[ ] can of soda
[ ] bottle of water/gatorade
[ ] a blacklight
[ ] medals/ribbons
[ ] trophies
[x] awards
[ ] water polo ball
[ ] soccer ball
[ ] volleyball
[ ] basketball
[x] softball stuff
[ ] track gear
[ ] frisbee
[ ] beach ball
[ ] football
[x] tennis ball
[ ] hockey stuff
[ ] gymnastics stuff
[ ] dance stuff
[ ] horseback riding stuff
[x] swim stuff
[x] cd's
[ ] Digital Camera
[ ] sofa/futon/round chair
[ ] bottles of liquor
[ ] flag
[ ] stop sign/any sign
[ ] caution tape
[ ] paintball gun
[x] airsoft gun
[ ] real Gun
[ ] cigarettes
[ ] candle(s)
[x] books
[ ] nintendo
[ ] playstation
[ ] playstation 2
[ ] game Cube
[ ] xbox
[ ] bike
[x] stereo
[ ] lighter
[ ] visine
[ ] your Mum
[ ] gum

How many windows do u have in ur room..
2

What is the color of your walls?
White / cream

hardwood floor, tile, or carpet?
Carpet

Do you get ready for the day in your room or the bathroom?
Both

Is your room big?
I've had bigger

-----------------------------

A N S W E R - T R U T H F U L L Y

1. Do you like anyone?: Nope
2. Do they know it? I don't know, why don't you ask them?
3. Simple or complicated? Simple for me

IN - T H E - L A S T - M O N T H - H A V E - Y O U

4. Had sex: Not married yet
5. Bought something: Yep
7. Been hugged?: Nope
8. Felt stupid?: When do I not
9. Talked to an ex: Don't have any
10. Missed someone: Yep
11. Failed a test: Nope
13. Danced: Nope
14. Gotten your hair cut?: Nope
15. Lied: Probably, I can't remember

U N I Q U E

16. Nervous habits?: Chewing my lip
17. Are you double jointed?: Pinky fingers
18. Can you roll your tongue?: Who can't?
19. Can you raise one eyebrow?: Yep
20. Can you cross your eyes?: Yep
21. Do you make your bed daily?: Really should start doing that again
22. Do you think you are unique?: Everyone's unique

H A V E - Y O U - E V E R'S

23. Said "I Love you": Yes
24. Given money to a homeless person: Nope
25. Smoked?: Nope
26. Waited all night for a phone call?: Nope
27. Snuck out?: Yep
28. Sat and looked at the stars?: Yep

M A N N E R S

29. Do you swear/curse?: Nope
30. Do you ever spit?: Depends on wether I have been doing strenuous excersize or not...for the most part, no.
31. You cook your own food?: Cooking is the shiznit
32. You do your own chores?: Most of them
33. You like beef jerky?: Never had it
35. You're happy with your life?: Sometimes
36. You own a dog?: I hate dogs with a passion
37. You spend your money wisely?: Once upon a time...
38. Do you like to swim?: Can't swim to well, not enough fat to keep me up
39. When you get bored do you call a friend: Sometimes

D O - Y O U - P R E F E R'S

41. Flowers or angels?: Flowers
42. Gray or black?: Black
43. Color or black and white photos?: Color usually
44. Lust or love?: What kind of a question is that? Love of course
45. Sunrise or sunset?: Haven't really seen to many good sunsets and haven't really seen to many sunrises, but they've all been fabulous
46. M&Ms or Skittles? Skittles all the way baby...it actually depends on wether I'm in the mood for chocolate or fruit
48. Staying up late or waking up early?: Both...erg
49. Being hot or cold?: Cold...it's easier to warm up than cool down
50. Winter or Fall?: Autumn
51. Left or right?: Left
52. Having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: Depends on the mood
53. Sunshine or rain?: Rain, as long as it's not too cold

MORE HAVE YOU EVERS....

Sleep in a bed of the opposite sex?: Nope
Hooked up in the woods?: Nope
Drank a bottle of alcohol by yourself?: Nope
Hooked up in the shower?: Nope
Been Dumped?: Nope
Stolen money from a friend? Nope
Slept naked?: Nope
Been in a fist fight?: So young and naive
Snuck out of your house?: Yep
Had a crush on a teacher?: Er...no
Seen someone die?: Only on video...kinda disturbing
Been on an airplane? So boring!
Slept all day?: Haha, yes..woke up and thought to myself, gee what a waste of a day
Missed someone so much it hurt?: Yep
Fallen asleep during school? Once or twice
Been lonely?: Who hasn't
Cheated in a game?: Cheated in PC games...and card games, not seriously though
Been to the ER?: Nope
Been in a car accident?: Nope
Had detention?: Nope
Missed your first love?: Well, if I have a first love it would be safe to surmise that I'd miss her aye?
Cried yourself to sleep?: Not to sleep, but just before sleep
Sung in the shower?: All the time
Kissed a complete stranger?: Er...no
Laughed so hard you cried?: A little
Cheated on a bf/gf?: That's just evil
Regretted hurting someone?: I'd be a tool not to
Regretted loving someone?: Yes
Been SUPER happy?: Once or twice

-------


Best and worst

Best, Worst, Last, Today, Tomorrow, Favorite, Currently, and True or False.

Best
1. Male friend: Widget

2. Female friend: Probably Erica

3. Vacation: Queensland...as much as I hate the weather, got some really good memories up there.

Favorites
1. Time of day: Around 6ish

2. Day of the Week: Saturday or Sunday

3. Food: Any type mexican first and foremost, followed closely by italian...nothing beat those two!

4. Memory: Banging my head on the corner of a wooden chair at creche when I was about 2

Last
1. Person you saw (not related): Justin

2. Talked to on the phone: Widget
3. Text: Hmmm...haven't had credit for about 3 months...probably Matty

4. IMed: Matty

5. Messaged over MySpace: Erica

Today

1. What are you doing now: Typing this, silly

2. What are you wearing?: Black jeans and navy t-shirt...

3. Better than yesterday?: Definately not

Tomorrow

1. Is: Tuesday

2. Got any plans: Get through the day, go to young adults
3. Dislikes about tomorrow: Work

Favorite

1. Number: 7

2. Song for the moment: At the moment? Probably Guy Sebastian's new single Taller, Stronger, Better...so damn awesome

3. Color: Black

4. Season: Autumn

Currently

1. Missing someone: Nope

2. Mood: Bored / Confused

3. Wanting: Food...mmmm...food...

True or False:

I am a cuddler.
Very true, you just haven't seen it because I'm not married

I am a morning person.
True

I am a perfectionist.
True

I am an only child.
False

I am currently in pyjamas.
False

I am currently single.
True, and waiting for the perfect one

I am currently suffering from a broken heart.
False

I am online 24/7.
False, more like 9/6

I can be paranoid at times.
True...

I currently regret something that I have done
False, I find it better to get on with life and not regret things. Everyone has mistakes, it's better to learn from them than dwell on them.

When I get mad, I curse frequently
False

I enjoy country music.
Depends on my mood

I love smoothies.
True, but only good ones

I enjoy talking on the phone.
Depends on whether or not I phoned or they phoned. If they phoned then yes, love talking, if I phoned then I absolutely hate it

I have a crush.
Nope, over crushes

I have a hard time paying attention at school.
Depended on the lecturer, but I think I did alright

I have a hidden talent.
Probably, how would I know until it reveals itself, and when it does that, it won't be hidden anymore will it?

I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
Who doesn't

I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy.
Since there is only 1 right person in the entire world, I think chances are good that I'll fall for the wrong one...

I have all my grandparents.
True

I have at least one brother/sister.
True

I have been told that I have a sense of humor.
True

I have broken a bone.
False

I have changed a diaper.
False

I have changed a lot over the past year
True

I have done something illegal.
True, nothing serious though

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
False

I have had major/minor surgery
False

I have had my hair cut within the last 2 months.
False

I have had the cops called on me.
False

----------

YOU OPENED IT. YOU DO IT. How well do you know the 1st person on your Top 8?

1. First name?
Widget

2. Age:
22

3. boy or girl?
Guy

4.how long youve known this person?
2 years

5. Are you related to them?
We're brothers

6. Have you ever slept in the same bed as this person??
Nope

7. How often do you see this person?
Most of the time

8. When was the last time you talked to them?
Just before via email

9. Are you two best friends?
Yep

10. How did you meet this person?
Church

11. When are you going to see them?
Wednesday probably

12. Whats their favorite band?
He likes many bands...some of the cd's in his case are Crowded House, Live, Fuel, 3 Doors Down, Third Day, United, etc.

13. Whats your favorite memory of this person?
Hmm...that's a toughy, probably the very first drive I ever had with him is pretty good.

14. Does this person have a crush on anyone?
Don't think so


15. Is this person single or taken?
Single

17. Is this person important to you?
Pretty important

------------
and now, for you to answer;

FILL IN THE QUESTIONS:


1.Your Full Name:
---> Damian Gordon Gray

2. Age & Birthday:
---> 20, 13 June

3. Favorite Color?
---> Black

4. Favorite Movie:
---> Gladiator, all time favorite

5. Favorite Song:
---> To many for you to comprehend

6. Favorite Band:
---> See above...

7. Most Embarassing Moment:
---> Erg...too many to pick one in particular

8. Are you a virgin?
---> Yes and proud of it

Yet another random survey

EVERYONE HAS THEIR FIRSTS:

FIRST REAL BEST FRIEND: Matthew Weightman

FIRST SCHOOL: Black Hill Primary

FIRST CELL PHONE: Motorola 'Coke' phone, awww yeah, so hardcore

FIRST FUNERAL: Yolander Choong

FIRST PET: Don Garto (Sir Cat...even though it was a girl...go figure...)

FIRST BIG TRIP: NSW on holiday with family in 1991

FIRST FIGHT: Probably at school...how do we do these things?

FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH: Err.....yes.....

FIRST TIME OUT OF THE COUNTRY?: N/A

FIRST JOB: PBSA

FIRST MYSPACE FRIEND: Tom....first REAL friend...probably Jess

EVERYONE HAS THEIR LASTS:

LAST PERSON YOU HUGGED: Probably LeeAnne a couple of months ago...

LAST CAR RIDE: Couple of minutes ago, from Phil's place

LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Watching the Patriot, yeah yeah I know, I know...the scene where the little girl runs to her dad

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED: Star Wars II

LAST FOOD YOU ATE: Mini Mars Bar

LAST ITEM BOUGHT: Bottle of fizzy

LAST SHIRT WORN: Standing Tall

LAST PHONE CALL: Phil, just before youth

LAST TEXT MESSAGE: Widget

LAST THING YOU TOUCHED: The PC mouse

LAST FUNERAL: My Uncle Leonard

LAST TIME AT THE MALL: Today

LAST TIME YOU WERE EXCITED FOR SOMETHING: Today with good reason, youth was awesome

LAST PERSON YOU SAW: Nic

LAST THING YOU DRANK: Bottle of fizzy

LAST TIME YOU WERE REALLY HONESTLY HAPPY? Hmm...it comes and goes, last time I was consistently happy for more than a month was probably first year of Uni, 2003, those were the days...

Worship

Yes I know it's plain text...I'll fix it up when I get time...

Well after many hours of debating on what to write my next blog, and there are many, many topics that I could choose from, as a crapload of stuff has been happening, I've finally decided to write at least something, and see where it goes...

I've been reading a book called the A Heart For Worship (one of my mum's old books), I can't remember the author's name...it is really good, so far it's confirmed most of what I know about worship in only the first 10 pages. I'm really starting to wonder are we really getting it? What is worship? The most common definition is giving to God honor, exultation, adoration, praise, giving Him His due worth. So many times we focus more on ourselves than on God I wonder do we really worship at all, or do we get so caught up with going through the motions that we fool ourselves into thinking we are worshipping when in reality we are not...

This Sunday for me was a great example. Sunday morning service, I had no ride to church, so I had to make some quick decisions and ended up getting there almost half an hour late for practice. Needless to say I was way stressed and frustrated. Not the best atmosphere to be getting into worship and if I didn't know better, I wouldn't have been able too, even so it was quite difficult and I don't really think I was able to let go and fully worship God until about halfway through.

That night was not much better, it was a youth service, so there's always a bit more tension for me, being in charge, but only one singer turned up, and she was stressing pretty hardcore about not being able to sing. That right there is an indication that we focus on the wrong things... do we trust our voice? Th strength of our arm? Or do we trust God? I know which one's more reliable and it certainly isn't my voice. Stress is infectious and I was starting to get a bit stressed also, when God gave me a revelation on worship...which is what this is all about. What is worship? Giving to God His due worth. Another definition is focusing on the worthiness of the One, not focusing the worthiness of the one. We already know we aren't worthy, thinking about it is distracting and not beneficial to a worship atmosphere. Worship is all about God!

Another thing is that we can get so caught up in hype...by which I mean that we focus so much on making sure that the worship has pizazz, energy, flare, that it simply becomes a performance. I don't have anything against moshing for example, but when we HAVE to do it otherwise worship is crap, I have to wonder why? Why does everything have to be BIG all the time? Doesn't God take pleasure in the little things as well? And for that matter, how can ANY worship be crap, isn't it ALL glorifying to God? In Ezekiel, it says there is a time for noise AND a time for silence. While Elijah the prophet waited for God, an earthquake, a loud wind, a myriad of other BIG things passed by, but God wasn't in them, He was in the stillness, the quiet, the silence that followed.

I'm not saying that God isn't in the big things, but there HAS to be a balance. We can't assume to confine God to a box and say well this is just how we do it...the Pharisee's did that and God lamented, saying They worship me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me...another thing is that worship has nothing to do with music...shocked? Worship has absolutely nothing to do with music. It's true that the church as a general whole has placed this label on it...not all churches, people like Matt Redman who had a revelation and basically canned music in his church until people started finding other avenues of worship, but most churches...and it is also true that worship in the bible is associated with music, ie. praise Him with trumpets and clashing cymbols, David was a musician, etc., etc., but music has to do with worship, not the other way around. If the music is taking over, then it's time to scrap it, seriously folks. I can say this, because I am a musician, and have been for the last 10 years or so, so I'm well aware of the momentousness of my statement, I'm well aware of the consequences...

One last thing... worship leading. The name is a misnomer and attracts the wrong type of people. It's not leading worship at all, in fact nothing could be further from the truth. The only thing that makes worship leading anything near leading is the fact that the people on stage and the congregation with follow you, in OR out of God's presence. Remember that..in OR out...A worship leader should be simply put, a lead worshipper. And they have the awesome responsibility of being more receptive to God's leading than anyone else. Humility is key here, a lead worshipper NEEDS to have a servant heart with no thoughts of leading at all, are we here to make worship as we want it? Or make it pleasing to God? Are we here to lead worship or let God lead us? If we would lead worship, it MUST not be for leading sake. Sorry cholerics, you can't control worship.

Well, anyway, I could go on for another half an hour, haha, I love the topic of worship, but yeah, I pray that you would glean something from my fumblings in the dark, and come to a deeper understanding of God and what it means to truly worship...

GB, D-Man

Camp '06

Well....got back from camp today. I can't really explain it well, but I will do my best and put as much detail as I can recall without making it tedious., I will apologize in advance for mistakes or unfinished thoughts, as it is almost 1 o'clock AM as of this writing..

It started on Tuesday, I packed that morning...yeah, for me it's easier to pack right before I leave. .. .anyway ... we got to the church at around 9:30 and were on our way to camp. It is difficult to explain what exactly I felt on leaving. To be quite honest I was worried that this camp would spoil my memories of Sunnystones, and so when we got there I was filled with anticipation but also an unease, I don't know what I was expecting to feel when I got there but it was good to be there. As Aragon's heart was left in Rivendel, so mine is at Sunnystones Camp, I don't know whether or not it will always remain there, but for the last 4 years it has been. It is hard to compare any two camp experiences because they are all different from each other. Each year brings with it it's own joys and heartaches to be felt and remembered.

After setting up our things and having lunch and all of that jazz and meeting our speaker Andrew Cox, we played the survival game. Me and Widget were the only diseases this time, but it was just as much fun this time as the last. I made sure that I had plenty of water this time as last time was pretty crazy looking back, anyway I had a helluva lot of energy comparatively.

This year we had less people and a lot of them were new, so the atmosphere of the entire camp was very different from that of last year. I also was a lot more involved in the leadership side of things this year, so my experience was vastly different than any previous years. One thing I noticed straight away is all the intricacies of the different social circles popping up. It always interests me how people change around camp. It's not really so much that they change as much as they can't keep masking their true selves around you 24 - 7.

Some of the changes were very disappointing, I lost quite a lot of respect for some people, but I also gained a lot of respect for others, so a balance is kept. I also often wonder how people view me and how I must change, although I hope that I keep myself real at least 90% of the time.

One thing I did miss from last year is the worship that we had. We brought in the instruments and the youth band played before each session. It was quite hectic and probably more trouble than it was worth in the long run, but it really added a dynamic that I missed very much this time around.

The obligatory volleyball games and all the old in jokes started coming out very quickly. By the third day everyone was a little tired and a lot of different things were happening in plain view for people who observe. I see a lot of things that others miss, and miss a lot of things that others see, but I definitely saw a lot this camp. The nature walk was AWESOME! Not quite as good as last years, and definitely more tiring (man that hill!!) but definitely worth the time. There's actually a story behind the walk for me. I wasn't originally going to be able to go on it because of numbers or some such thing. And I'd really being hanging for it since last year, so much so that I was quite put out when I was told that I wasn't coming. I had to come to the point of letting it go completely and saying to myself that it wouldn't ruin my camp experience. Anyway, the night before I prayed that if God wanted me walking, then He would make a way for me to come, and the next day circumstances that I didn't even know about simply clicked into place and allowed me to come. Needless to say I didn't really put 2 and 2 together straight away...I was actually pretty bummed because I'd wired myself for the extra-walk activities around the camp, so I had to check myself on that and simply thank God for His blessing. Anyway, the walk was absolutely fabulous! Simply beautiful as only a bush walk with your friends can be. Hopefully I'll have a bunch of photos to put up soon ; ) We got back and we were incredibly tired but I at least was pretty exhilarated. The final day of camp was filled with various physical activities...such as soccer, painting and fishing....for some stupid reason I picked soccer without thinking of how smashed I'd be by then and needless to say I was pretty tired afterward, although I had lots of fun.

A lot of crap things happened that night and I pretty much snapped for the first time in a long long time. I'm not proud of it, but it happened, however a lot of good things happened also. The concert was fun, with various skits from the sound of music (you girls roxor the the h-core max x 10 + 1!! to take a saying from last camp) and the blender of doom!!! Damn you guys are so awesome!!

Physically this camp was pretty exhausting, although I think my body might be able to adjust a bit easier to lack of sleep, because I am able to stay up until 1:30 am writing this blog. The activities were all very strenuous and I had about 15 hours sleep over 4 days so I was pretty wrecked by pack up time...Mentally I was pretty focused most of the time, although stress played a big part this year because of my responsibilities and various other things...Spiritually, although the speaker was good and I got quite a lot out of it, I think I actually got a lot more out of personal revelations that God graned to me over the course of the camp than the sessions and group times.

Special thanks go to Mary Morrison, our cook, without whom, the quality of food wouldn't have been half as good as it was! You slaved over the kitchen for for days solid and you were absolutely AWESOME!!! Also the duty groups, it may not seem much to prepare tables for meals and clean up afterward, but it really IS a big deal and you guys were amazing! Other people include but not limited to, Erica, Widget, Phil, you guys are always awesome and without you the camp would not have been anything spectacular!

As a wrap up, despite a hell of a lot of things going wrong on this camp or things not being as they should, and the fact that I actually enjoyed last year a lot more, on leaving I still feel a sense of loss that goes words. On a lighter note though, I got my stitches out today!! Wootage!! Although now my eye looks even more MANK than it did before. Alrighty guys, I think I should get some sleep so I guess I'll see you all soon, I pray that you as much out of camp as I did and that God continues to bless you.

Cheerio, D-Man

Perfect moments

Hey there folks, yes an exciting new blog by the D-Man! Wootage! Well first and foremost, if you don't already know, Phil and LeeAnne have had a baby on Tuesday at 8:47 AM!!! Her name is Elise Jasmine Tong, and she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! LeeAnne is doing fine although still sore. I have never ever seen a baby so close to birth before, but I tell you, it's an experience that will last a lifetime. As I watched her sleep in the incubator with a band over her eyes to stop the UV light, I'm thinking it doesn't get much better than this. I could have just watched her for hours. If there is such a thing as a truly perfect moment outside of heaven, I think this was it. In fact that single moment has brightened my entire week, I'm so happy for them, it's absolutely awesome!

In other news,my brother and his wife are back down in Ballarat for some more bad news, which I won't get into here, but it has been good to catch up. We saw the Lady in the Water last night at the movies...for a premier, there was only about 15 people in the entire cinema! Was kind of odd, I really enjoyed it though..very different for a Night Shyamalan movie but still excellent. I got home and I felt really sick, which brings me here, I'm at home feeling like crap at the moment, but hey, God is good and last night surely eclipses today...

Cheerio, D-Man

The weekend and the weeks

Well, I've been racking my brains trying to think of something for my next blog entry, but nothing of substance has been coming, and so it has been a bit neglected. Much has been happening, but I simply haven't been able to find the words for it all. I've been doing a lot better in the last couple of weeks than I have in the last year so it's been really good, although I still fail, at least I can recognize it for myself, which is where I want to be. I pray that God continues to work out these massive flaws in my life, either by rain or sunshine, it doesn't really phase me as long as I am where God wants me to be. I've been relying on God's grace very heavily, at some points I've even felt like giving up altogether, despite knowing that doing so would only bring more pain in the long run.

I've been working overtime heaps for the last fortnight, to reach a deadline on time, it has been incredibly tiring, yet somehow satisfying, and it feels weird to go back to normal hours now, but it's still good to have my life back, lol...

LeeAnne's birthday was on Wednesday, which really kind of sucked...now now now, don't get me wrong, her birthday is awesome, but the day wasn't. Everyone had been leading her on that there was nothing special happening, someone even went so far as to give her a meat pie with a candle in it, while I can see the humor in that, it wasn't very tasteful. However the next day we all got together for a surprise party, I made sure that she got a proper cake or pavlova at least, haha it was very definitely worth it...

After I got home though, someone threw eggs at my window, I have no idea who or why but it wasn't very nice and it kinda freaked me out a bit to be honest, I've come to the conclusion that it was just some random looking for a laugh, why the heck he picked my window though...

We had Youth Alive on the weekend, I wasn't actually looking forward to it that much and even on the bus on the way up, I wasn't fussed about it. Haha, yeah, we had a bus...56 seater, it was awesome. We got there at about 1:00 PM and spent the day outside until 6:00 PM when the arena opened. It was ok, there were a few good bands, but the most part was spent aimlessly walking around, watching people be different than usual in their circle of friends and becoming dehydrated and hungry because of the lack of food stalls around the place. Once we actually got inside it was a different story though, it was all happening. I was originally going to swap back and forth between floor and seat, because I really didn't feel up to jumping for 2 or more hours but once I was on the floor it was all good, although tiring as hell. Haha, I also meant to try and save my voice because I had a youth service the next day but after about 1/2 hour I gave up and just really got into it. Reggie Dabbs is an excellent speaker, and spoke in his usual style. The bus ride home was a little funky for me, I was is a bit of a strange mood and I didn't really have any energy left. We stopped in at Macca's and I made the mistake of buying and sculling two bottles of V...erg...woke up on Sunday morning with the biggest headache.

This Sunday was Father's Day, so happy father's day to you all! Phil & LeeAnne graciously invited me over for the day, haha it was very non eventful and GOOD! I slept and played xBox with the kids... There was a youth service that night which went really well. God is just so damn awesome! I was leading, very tensely I might add, but God had control and it really was awesome. I had absolutely no voice left afterward, I could barely sing at all the whole day, but yeah, it was still good. Nathan Bailey spoke that night, and he really had an awesome message. A lot of things a lot of really needed to hear, methinks.

I've made decisions in my life that I believe will be beneficial to my spiritual life, and so far I can really see the difference it has made, I just wish I had come to this way of thinking before, so I didn't have to go through everything that I have, but hey, so do all who go through such things. God has an awesome future for me, but I'm not even focusing on it anymore, it's better to focus on the here and now, to do God's will for me TODAY and let Him figure out tomorrow. Things have become a bit complicated in the last couple of days, not from me but for me, I guess I just have to figure out how to handle old situations with new thinking. Thank you, God for everything You have done and continue to do in my life, thank You for Your love, support and encouragement through everything...

Mercy Me
Here With Me

I long for your embrace
Every single day
To know you in this place
And see you face to face

Will you show me?
Reveal yourself to me
Because of your mercy
I fall down on my knees

And I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love

You're everywhere I go
I am not alone
You call me as your own
To know you and be known

You are holy
And I fall down on my knees

I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love

I surrender to your grace
I surrender to the one who took my place

I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender

I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love

Cheerio, D-Man

What? Another blog entry!?

Wow...better wipe the dust off mah keyboard, I obviously haven't used it for ages...but I digress (how cool is that word??)... So yeah, the point of this blog..."tune in next week to hear D-Man say 'So the point of this blog is...' next time on Days of Our Blog" *weird organ music*...ok... so life is kind of busy lately, haven't had a lot of sleep, and even less time to myself. Work has been flat out, because they want me to work as much overtime as I can possibly manage to meet some project deadline... kinda sucks, but hey, more money I guess. And I've gotten to use Visual Studio 2005 which is rather cool...yeah yeah, I'm a geek sometimes...GET OVER IT!!! I like what I like and don't like what I don't like, because if I did like it, I wouldn't not like it anymore, and then I wouldn't know what I liked. See, confusing, I know, so don't even go there....

God's been revealing much to me over these last few weeks, on different things in my life...a lot of big issues have been raising their heads, saying ooh deal with me and I'm just like GAH!! but it has done sometime. I have a real issue with trust, although I'm not quite sure why I would, it's not like I have some big bad secret from my past that would cause me to not trust ever again or anything like that...

We did our motivational giftings last Friday with Ps. Liz, it was awesome, I've been hanging out for about 3 months do do them because I honestly can't recall what I got last time I did them. When I was younger, I can recall having the administrator gifting as my highest, but those days are long gone methinks. Anyways, this time I got: 1. Server, 2. Compassion, 3. Teacher... So yeah, I was rather happy, because those three things are kinda cool...although I wouldn't mind being the others sometimes...especially perceiver but usually I'm pretty happy with what I have...the next meeting we'll be doing personality types, eg. choleric, melancholy, etc. I'm about %95 sure I'm a melancholic / phlegmatic, but hey surprise me.

Another thing that God has been revealing to me is the issue of manipulation. When I was younger...much younger...I used to have this thing where I would scab food off people, yeah I know, I know, kinda a bit odd...anyway I got to this point and I'm not exactly sure what kick started it but I basically made the decision where I would never put myself in a place where people could say that I made them do something, never blame me for manipulating them. I got very independent...in my mind at least...and all was well...it's only lately that I've come to see that this is a really big problem. I absolutely HATE confrontation because it makes me have to stand up for myself and possibly change someone's mind or get them to 'do what I want'...every time it happens my mind starts screaming at me. I have a hard time accepting help or compliments from people, because I don't want them to feel pressured into something that they don't have to do, etc., etc., etc., the list goes on. It's really drained any potential I have for leadership because I have always refused to take authority. But yeah, God is working on me so it's all good.

We've been going through evangelism in young adults. I've never been big on it myself, much the opposite in fact, because I've never really been much of a people person, but it's pretty good, we've been watching a seminar by a Julian someone from New Zealand talking on the six steps to church growth. His definition of evangelism is that it is proclaiming the gospel, not basing it on results, because that is bringing the most glory to God, and that's what evangelism is. He was saying that the two main purposes of the church are worship and evangelism, and both don't work without the other...all other minor purposes revolve around those two...and yeah, it's just been really good, haha, I can't wait for the opportunity to start doing it... Speaking of young adults, Renae and Anthony are the best! You guys rock my socks, you are a real inspiration and I thank God for the opportunity to grow together and get to know you guys more...

Well, that about wraps this blog entry up I suppose...

GB
Cheerio, D-Man

The veil is torn away

Well, the veil is torn away. I'm see a bit more of a bigger picture to do with dreams and desires. It's all started clicking as it were...the thing is...we are people of desire, in fact some people go so far as to say that we ARE desire, I dunno about that but I do know that you show me a man without a single desire and I'll show you an empty shell. A man's (human race inclusive) strength come's from his desires, without them he is not a man at all, he's pretty much an animal.

ANYWAY...before we ask Christ into our lives, we are evil... 'for the heart of man is in enmity towards God / eternally wicked' depending on what translation you read, we still have dreams and desires but they are small, selfish, meaningless desires. When we come to Christ we receive the heart of Christ.. 'therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation' ...'I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you' ... 'I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh' etc. etc. etc. there are a thousand and one verses I could list off to get my point across.

There's a verse in the bible that says something like 'stay focused on God and He will give you the desires of your heart'..this has always caught me, in fact I've been in about the same rut for the last year or so of thinking, yeah, my desires ARE good even when they weren't necessarily. I've been wondering why my desires seems to be more of a hindrance to me when I thought it was supposed to be all scriptural and stuff and it suddenly hit me (with help from various sources indirectly) 'the old man is crucified with Christ' ... 'that old has passed away all things have become new' ... God doesn't give us OUR crappy desires, fact 1: If we don't get it from God, it's not going tobe beneficial for us anyway, fact 2: God's plan for our lives is much greater than we can possibly imagine. When we get saved God is already thinking of the bigger picture, that is why He tells us to sacrifice our desires...look at Abraham for the most famous example of that...We are called to focus on God and He will give us the desires of our heart..what heart do we now have? The heart of Christ.

I propose that God gives us His desires, and it is THOSE that we are called to hang on to..our own desires end up taking us astray and into not very nice places, as I've had to learn the hard way. The trick is killing OUR desires to make way for God's perfect plan for us...being empty vessels for God to use as He wills. This is a pretty touch call, even harder to follow through than to have revelation over. Barlow Girl put it awesomely in their song Surrender, 'Surrender you whisper softly to me, but my dreams are me, will I dream again?' I did have more on this topic this morning when I was thinking about it, but time it seems has displaced my memory and so I shall finish there...hopefully someone got something out of this, I know I did...

In other news, I've been coming back to the whole selfish thing, it seems I have a lot more to deal with than on first thought and I'm only having little success, but never fear...God will get me there, haha yer, if you think I'm being selfish, don't be afraid to pull me up on it..it'll be a good exercise in humility which I can never get enough of, anyway I'll leave you with a song that's been speaking to me recently. It's by a damn awesome band called Red off their debut album 'End of Silence'

Pieces
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from You
A broken mess
Just scattered pieces of who I am

I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally Yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole

I've come undone
But You make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand

When I see Your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole

I tried so hard
So hard
I tried so hard
So hard

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally Yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole
You can make me whole

Until next time, Cheerio
D-Man

Mistakes

I make them. Despite popular belief (and I don't even know how it got popular...) I am not a totally awesome guy. I am only human...just you're average Joe... and I MAKE MISTAKES! I could say I can't help it, it's just how I am, but I know better. I have a LOT of issues and a LOT of wounds in my life, and I am far from perfect. I can only say that I try to do the best I can and that God is working on me. But you know, all masterpieces take time. The roof on the Sistine Chapel took 4 years of solid work to complete and how much more complex is the heart of a man than an empty canvas? This is not a cop out. I hate making excuses and every time I catch myself out I wince. It's like not taking responsibility for your own actions...(like, duh)...Even admitting that I was wrong, is not enough. It can never be enough. The trust is broken and there's no going back. The best I can do it focus on God and pray that He will work through the situation. Every time I make a mistake, it's immediate condemnation from myself. I don't know why...I really need to look past it and keep focusing on God, but it doesn't usually happen like that. I can see the hypocrite in me, and I hate it, don't worry about that. I really wish I was that awesome guy that everyone raves about, I really do, but I know the truth. I am not there yet, nowhere near in fact.

On the flip side of this coin is God's grace and mercy. How ...awesome...amazing...beyond words is it that His grace covers all things. That no matter how many mistakes we make, He will always be there for us to run to. It really blows my mind...can you feel it? God didn't just know from the beginning that we would screw up. He has always known...for God there IS no beginning. There has never been a time in the history of God that He didn't know that you and I would screw up. His love has ALWAYS been there for us. He knew that things would turn out this way, just as He knows the bigger picture. We will NOT always be this way. Often time's I've noticed that He will turn a bad situation into a really good one. I'm not quite sure why He would do this, but He knows best. Even so, we still have to deal with our mistakes and the consequences thereof. Usually these come in the form of wounds we receive that cause us to lash out at people or not trust people or make us become incredibly selfish. we build walls around our hearts to protect us from the evil outside, this very act of self-preservation is one that causes us to hide away from the One TRUE Healer. I guess this is why Jesus says that those who would truly live must die to themselves. To give up that part of themselves that always looks to hide from pain.

Well, I'm going to leave that there. I could go on I guess, but I've run out of words at the moment, and yes I know it is very unfinished, but ah well. Until next time, my faithful blog readers.

Cheerio D-Man

Moments of Clarity

There are times in a man's life when he is brought to the lowest of lows. Theses times are really shaping of a mans character and strength. They can either bring out the best features of a man or make him collapse. In either case, the man will grow. I have been reading Problems of Pain by C.S. Lewis and although I have known a fair portion of it already, a lot of revelation has come from it. Sometimes his style of writing can be incredibly hard to understand, especially in bed waiting for sleep to come, but it is very enjoyable for the most part.

The problem with pain is this. If God loves us, then why is there so much pain and suffering. This is a complex question and one that many people ask in their lifetime. The answer lies in free will. It seems so simple but this is barely the cap of the iceberg. I really don't have time to get into it here, but I recommend that you read the book sometime. One part that stuck out to me in particular is the fact that if God is good, and fallen man is in such a state that we love things that are not necessarily from God, then our way of thinking isn't right. At this point you are probably thinking...duh...but...this raises that all important question of what God really wants. If we desire things that will us happy, then what's wrong with that? If God loves us then doesn't he want us to be happy? If God is all knowing then He must know what will truly make us happy and therefore what we want isn't necessarily going to make us happy. Haha, I'm not really bringing much clarity to this subject at the moment so I'm just drop it, but yeah, excellent book.

If I've been going through a lot over the last couple of months, I think the game just got stepped up in the last week. My heart has almost continuously ached from the pressure of life over the last couple of weeks. It pains me to say, that I'm nowhere near where I want to be. In fact, if I didn't have any responsibilities, if nothing at all was holding me here, I would probably do something drastic. Not suicide, I've already been there, it's not pretty, but yeah, I wouldn't be hanging around. Through it all, I have grown. Through the pain, the stress, the longing, I have grown. I still have difficulty letting go. I still struggle with my desires and my habits. A part of me is saying is it really so bad? Another part that is getting stronger daily is saying. Yes. You will never learn if you give even an inch to that voice. Abraham's frame of mind over Isaac wasn't aww crap, God's gonna turn this situation around... it was, God I don't like this one bit, but I will obey You. He was fully ready to kill his only son even if God hadn't come through for him. And so, I cannot afford to hold onto my dreams even the slightest bit. Because obeying God is much more important than God coming through for me. My focus needs to be on Him, on drawing close to Him, not on what He can do for me. And so, my dreams aren't pushed aside for later. My dreams are dead. It hurts. I broke down on the way to my room tonight just coming face to face with the fact. The realization that I must let go with EVERYTHING I have and hold NOTHING back.

There is a vulnerability in letting everything go. Something deeper than anything else. It is completely trusting God. Putting yourself on the line. It is setting yourself up for a broken heart. Opening yourself up for all or nothing. The risk of failure is greater than I can possible imagine...the consequences fatal. Why would I do this? I can never fully understand the heart of God. I am to caught up in my own world. The pain that I suffer throughout my lifetime have set up walls against the world, but in doing so have shut out the voice of God in my life. And so, we must come to an all or nothing point. Even if we choose nothing, God is faithful until the end. Eventually we must come to the point of surrender. The point of trust.

It's only in these moments of clarity, when I can say for certain that God is doing a great and wonderful work in my life. I can see it clearly, even though it hurts, God brings beauty from pain. Diamonds from ashes. A beating heart from stone. In the end this means more to me than anything I could do for myself. Your will be done, Lord

And as is my habit for the last however many blogs that I have written...I will post the lyrics of a song that speaks to me at this time.

Superchick - Beauty From Pain
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel I like I died

And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the face that I made
I try to keep on but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And I'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place

And though I can't understand why this happened
I know I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise there will be a dawn

Cheerio, D-Man

Dreams and Desires

Well, here I am. I've come to a place of realization. Isn't it funny how some dreams and desires seem to come naturally, while others as much as you work towards them, seem like they'll never come to pass? For instance, my dream of teaching worship seems to simply have been there my entire life, I never did anything it just happened and it's really awesome, but other dreams in my life, that I've longed for so much, seem as if they will never ever come to fruition. Abraham had to be completely willing to kill his dream, his one desire in life was to have a son, and God told him to sacrifice his son and give him back to the Lord. I can understand the absolute anguish the Abraham must have felt when God told him this, not only was his dream being torn at the seams but God seemed to be holding back on his promises. What an amazing amount of faith that Abraham obeyed God and just before he plunged the knife into his son's heart, God came through and held him back. I know now that letting go of my dreams are the best thing I could possibly do. I need to sacrifice them to God so that He can work through them, but oh the pain it brings, the anguish, the loneliness. My heart cries out in terror that God will not come through for me, that if my dream dies, I will have nothing left. I feel so empty at the moment, so lost, and I don't know what to do, except focus on God.

All my life I've been tought to hold on to my dreams, to have faith and hold on to the promises of God (for that is what dreams are, are they not?). I been given many different reasons to hold on to my dreams, many, many reasons, but recently more and more I've been seeing the need to let them go. Submission to God MUST be paramount in my life, over even my dreams. I don't know what the future holds anymore, I once thought I did, I once was almost absolutely sure in fact, but now I know nothing and God is telling me to trust in Him. It is a hard lesson to take, and I cannot make it on my own. Everything in me wants to take my dreams back, to force them to be a reality, but I know that even if I was able to make my dreams a reality, they wouldn't bring me joy or peace or happiness. Over the last month or so, it has been a really strong pull to simply focus on God, whenever I get down or start focusing on circumstances, something always reminds me to focus on God, always, always, doesn't matter how tired I am, doesn't matter how much I slipped away, I must always come back to that point of focusing on Him.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in life that we forget about God. The meaning behind the phrase God is awesome (and similar) can become so lost. It becomes a catch 22, a phrase that you simply say when things get rough, as if it's a good luck charm, to make things get better without really meaning in it. Damn it, God IS awesome, and if I could truly see that, I would have no problems. Like Elisha on the walls, with all the fiery chariots around. The army of the Lord was surrounding the city, and just as the generals where about to lose hope, their eye's were opened to the glory of God and a paradigm shift took place. Their perspective was totally changed. God came through for them.

Haha, I love writing blogs. Your perspective changes as you write them. Like in the Psalms where David starts out by writing 'I feel alone like You have forsaken me'...etc., etc., and by the end of the Psalm he was like 'Your awesome God, there is none like You' .I started out all depressed (yes I know, I hate me being depressed too... don't you worry about that) but writing this has lifted my spirits somewhat. Guess I wasn't focusing on God, hey. God DOES come through, and I'm not holding on anymore, so I guess the only thing left for me to do is trust in God for my future. He's got it all worked out so I don't need to worry. Anyway, something to reflect on, God's taking me through the storms of life, but you know, that if you put gold over a fire for long enough, it melts. Yep. It melts and all the impurities come to the top where they can be scooped out. The gold becomes refined and pure. A lady at my church had a similar word on Monday where we are like clay but God kneads us until all the stones and non-clay substances are gone, then we become malleable and usable by God to make pottery.

Well, anyway, I better go, my blogs seem to be getting longer and longer and I have things to do. I will leave you with the lyrics of a song that sums up this blog rather nicely. It's by Barlow Girl from their debut album.

Surrender
My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me
My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?

Cheerio, D-Man

God's Grace and Love

God's grace is totally awesome. I am truly amazed that He would love me. Truly amazed that, time after time, screw up after screw up, He would patiently pursue me. Even when I am against God, He still wants me, He still loves me. It brings tears to my eyes, when I truly let myself feel the absolute immensity of it, and I can't even imagine how much more it goes beyond my imagination. Words cannot even catch a glimpse of God, in fact as Steven Curtis Chapman puts it... words just get in the way of what I really want to say...

Isn't it funny that it's during the good times where we can get to the point where we feel like we don't need God. He is still there and He is closer than ever. We acknowledge Him with thanks that life is good, and together we share joy in the circumstances, but God kind of takes a side line and watches for a while. And then in the troughs of the waves of life, it is there, when everything is drained from our spirit, God feels so distant to us. Why is it so, that when I look back on the footprints in the sand, I see only one set? God is obviously there...He never leaves or forsakes us, but every little prayer every little intersession feels like it hits the wall and falls to the floor. It is here, in the depths of God's distance that we truly find that we are hungry for God...just as Jesus was in the wilderness for 40 days and nights, he was hungry, so we in our barrenness find a hunger for God that may not necessarily have been apparent in the good times.

I've been going through...a mess...simply put, for about a year now. Oh, it's had its highlights, but the lows have been much more in number as to make the highlights seem patchy at best. I've been learning, but I still have a long, long road ahead. A road of unlearning, of grieving over mistakes made, of digging up the past and dealing with it. My journey hasn't just barely begun, this time is a preparation... my journey comes later... How religious I can be! How legalistic! How absolutely full of myself can I get! I see someone going through a rough time and I automatically try to apply formula to fix the problem rather than simply grieving with them. I am no better than Job's friends, who brought death into the situation. How many wounds have I given in this way? How many hearts have I broken? I rage against myself every day as I see all the trash that has built up in my soul over the years. It is here, in this place, where everyone I love seem far away in spirit though near in body, it is here where nothing seems to be going right, it is here, in the loneliness and despair, where I have nothing, that God truly finds me, or rather I truly find God. God, I truly am nothing, change my heart and draw me to You...

Youth band is still awesome..it will always be awesome, as long as the focus continues to stay on God. I am increasingly aware of my faults, but this doesn't stop me from seeing particularly dangerous situations arising, which, if left unchecked, will be, I fear, fatal to those involved...not physically, but, yeah, not good. I have no idea what to do anymore. I can pray, and that's all I know. Hopefully it will be enough. I have begun to see that in reality, I am no better than anyone... it may come as a shock to everyone that I would actually think of myself as higher than some people...me being the guy spouting humble, humble, humble... but I did, and to some extent I still do...God is working on me. We all do it to some extent... ie. I'm not perfect, but I'm better than that guy who is definitely not doing the right thing, I mean look at my fruits! I'm worshiping God for God's sake, while he is only doing it to look good in front of everyone, oh and look, he is bringing division into my little coterie, how dare he! etc. etc., I want to say, what a absolute bunch of CRAP! I with my self-righteous attitudes are just as bad as they. What a Pharisee! Who am I to judge them? What gives me the right? Everyone is broken, everyone is hurting and God is working on us all where we are at.

Wowee this is a long blog...you could almost call it a blogathon...or a blogalong or something. Ok...I'll shut up now and leave you with two songs by Steven Curtis Chapman that really...are really awesome :)

When Love Takes You In
I know you've heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You've heard about a place called home
But there doesn't seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

When love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you're sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in

What I Really Want to Say
I say I love you, I say I need you
I try so many ways to say how my heart beats for you
I say I'm always thinking about you
There's no way I'd want to face this life without you
And even though these words comes from deep inside me
There's so much more I don't have the words to say

'Coz what I really want to say
Is what the sun would say to the sky
For giving it a place to come alive
But my words get in the way
Of what I really want to say
Oh, what I really want to say

I know that sometimes my words can be as hard as stone
And sometimes my words have left you feeling so alone
So please forgive me and hear the words I'm saying now
I spend my whole life looking for a way somehow
To let you know just how precious you are to me
I'll use the best words I know but I still won't say it all
It's like a tale too great to be told
It's something that my heart can only show
I'm gonna take my whole life
Just to let you know

What I really want to say
Oh, what I really want to say
What I really want to say
Oh, what I really want to say

Cheerio, D-Man

Confusion

Hmm... well here I am again, another day another blog. This week has been rather long. I've been rather tired and stupid with my time management this week, so I haven't been getting a lot done. Feels like I've had a very surface week. No really deep and meaningful convos with anyone, which is ok, cos they usually end up being deep and not meaningful...which is crap anyway...I haven't really been spending much time with God lately either which really sucks.

In fact I'm really confused about my life at this point. About what I should and shouldn't be holding onto...on the one hand I believe I should but on the other there's a voice saying but to really hold on you should just let it go, and I've been trying to let go, but it doesn't seem to be working, in fact it just feels like there will never be any sort of resolution if I do. To let go would be to lose hope, and if I do, I'm afraid I'll flip or something, so yeah...really don't know what to do there...

Youth band is going ok...I'm coming to the point of realization that there are greater things ahead, but we are definitely not there yet...when I think of the band, I see great potential, but there are certain attitudes pervading the atmosphere that are not good at all. As a worshiper, we must be so humble in EVERYTHING we do, and at the moment I'm just not getting that. I mean where IS the servant heart in all of this? What am I doing for others?

I can't help thinking back to a couple of years ago. I know I shouldn't dwell on the past, but life seemed so much easier back then. I can remember talking with Nathan, my brother, a couple of weeks before he went up to Canberra about how much I was enjoying serving people, and it just feels like I've lost something precious from that time. I dunno, maybe it's just me, maybe not.

Things are a real drag at the moment..probably because I'm not seeing any results anywhere, and thoughts come at me like 'ha, since you're not getting any results you must be doing something wrong...' I dunno, it's just frustrating.

On a lighter note...I brought Walk The Line the other day..haven't seen it yet because I let it to LeeAnne, but I've been hanging out for it all week. It came with a sound track which was pretty good actually. I didn't think I'd like it at all, because I've heard Johnny Cash before and it bored me to tears, but I didn't actually mind it..was heaps different to what I usually listen to, but it wasn't half bad. I also saw the new version of Pride and Prejudice last night, which is REALLY good! I'd recommend it much!

Haha, this is a really long blog entry, so I guess I shall leave you with my favorite verse...
'Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.' - Hebrews 11:1

Cheerio, D-Man

Life and winter

Well, considering I haven't written a blog entry since last week and I've been going a bit blog crazy lately, that's a bit gap! So here we go...

It came to me the other day that since I have started writing blogs, they've slowly progressed into less about what is going on and my into my emotional side and how I feel and stuff like that. I probably would give up reading a blog like that so I've decided to put a bit more external awareness into them... so, let's see what's going on in my life?

I've been pretty busy lately, although I couldn't really tell you a lot about it, because I really don't know where the time has gone...just there isn't enough of it! Mel and Brendan's wedding was about a week and a half ago (I think)...that was pretty good. The reception was absolutely fabulous! We went to the racecourse for a 2 course dinner and dancing. I absolutely love to see newly weds on their first dance...truly magnificent I say! Although bittersweet :) but hey, the sweetness worth the bitterness. Somehow Widget coaxed (how do you spell that??) me onto the dance floor, where I made an absolute fool of myself, lol... that's the thing with me, if I'm gonna dance, (unless it is with my wife) I need to get to a place where I really don't care... unfortunately for everyone else, that place also involves me going a little bit crazy, 'coz I REALLY don't care, lol.

Um. Youth band has started up again and I'm pretty excited about it... lol, what can I say, I'm always excited about it... I LOVE IT!! I really believe that God is moving in the youth band, He's already done so much, but I believe that this is a time of preparation... we ain't seen nothing yet. God is going to outpour His Spirit like nothing you've ever seen and it will be awesome to be a part of that.

I'm getting to the point of realization that worry really is bad. Lol, I've always known it, but I've never really 'known' it if you know what I mean... It brings up issues that really, God is in control of anyway, and worrying about them is trying to take control from Him. I've never really seen it like that, but it's the truth. This winter has been a really heavy drain on everyone and it's starting to affect everything or so it seems. Everyone seems stressed out of their brains and worried about everything. People are either snappy or depressed and nothing flows naturally, but God is still sovereign. God is still the Master of the house, and He ALWAYS pulls through. I don't have to worry, and I've decided not to worry anymore. So if you catch me... give me a slap! lol, nah, but yeah.

So, that's my news for the week. Until next time, cheerio and GB!
D-Man

God is just so damn awesome!

God truly is awesome, hey... even with all this crap in my life at the moment... internal as well as external, God is always with me. At this moment, when everything has gone from bad to worse, I am at complete peace...not even just peace, but contentment... as weird as that is. I've been praying pretty hardcore, and I will continue to do so... hopefully it'll become a habit for not just the bad times. I am completely trusting in God as far as my future goes, and hey, if it doesn't pan out, I know that He's got better in store for me anyway. I still believe in what I believe, but if it doesn't come to pass then so be it.

Hebrews 11:1 'Now faith is the reality of things being hoped for, the proof of things not being seen...' A really good definition of faith... one of my favorite verses in fact. I have things to hold onto, even though at the moment they are definitely unseen.

Hebrews 11:33 'Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions...' so God rewards faith. I believe that even if we are mistaken, God still rewards our faithfulness by taking us out of the situation gracefully. In fact in faith, it's all good, so really I should have no worries at all. And at the moment I don't, so 'tis good..ness?

About my moodiness, well, the last big bout I had with it was on Sunday, over Amelia leaving youth band. It kinda caught me by surprise, but I was prepared for it, coz I figured it was going to happen sooner or later. I was on a pretty big downer all night because of it, even though looking back on it now it seems pretty dumb. I remember thinking about halfway through, 'well, why am I depressed?, it's not like I didn't know this was going to happen...' I couldn't come up with any answers really, so I thought for a bit and the only thing that stuck was that it felt good to be depressed. As weird as that is, I was using the depression to feel good, instead of focusing on and trusting in God. If I look at any time I've gotten depressed now, I can say yeah, those reasons are more like selfish excuses, now. It's really selfish when I look back now. Thankfully God has changed my mindset, although I pray that He will help me to continue to change, because I don't think I'm there yet...

So yeah, how good is The Man anyway? ... I did have something to write right about now, but I've totally forgotten what it is... so yeah... I'll leave you all now and go watch Kingdom of Heaven..which I've been meaning to watch since about 2 hours ago!!

Cheerio, D-Man

The Times

Well, here I am again. I really don't know how it works, and I'm just...sad. I can't change my current situation, but I can sure pray about it, and have been doing so. I don't know whether it was me or not, but it's not the first time...not even the second, and it damn well hurts for your information. I'm still holding on, maybe nothing will ever change, but hey, hope for the hopeless is better than despair. I won't let go, except for the situational crap, (coz really...I don't have to deal with it..it's not my problem anymore), because I believe in something higher than situation...still friggin' sucks though..

I would say more, because I really want to get it out of my system, but yeah, I don't think It'd be wise on a public blog and somehow I think that going into detail would just make things worse. I can remember around Christmas time this year going through exactly the same crap and it got really...bad. As the blog entries from around that time will probably tell you, lol. I'm not expecting much different this time around, but hey, as I said. I'm not going to focus on it anymore.

In other news, I've been way to moody of late...I've been trying to break free of it, with limited success, so I'll continue trying. It's been a habit in my life for a long long time now, and I guess it goes under the selfishness category when it comes down to it, so yeah. I've been way to short and snappy lately for my own good..or anyone else for that matter, and it's time to take a stand. God is awesome, I will always have much more grace than I deserve, but I at this very moment, I REALLY know that I have more than I deserve.

You know who else are awesome? Phil and LeeAnne...tell you what, without these guys I don't know what I would do. They have supported me through everything since my family went up to QLD. Much grace is required for me and they have stepped up to the plate in that department. Thank you guys heaps for your love and support, you're awesome to the max!

Cheerio, D-Man

Selfishness and Worship

You ever notice how selfish we can be sometimes? It's a recent phenomenon for me, I've really never noticed it before, but I am one selfish cookie…I'm not talking your average selfishness either, damn. It's taken almost two years of continuous effort from God for me to even be aware of my selfishness... and that’s really bad! We as people focus way too much on ourselves, and in some ways this belief is perpetuated in the church...(not saying the church is bad, I love church) for instance, we are all about 'what God can do for us' or 'what God did for us' when it should be about 'what can we do for others?' and 'what can we do for God?' A lot of my prayers have been things like 'Lord help me to...' and whereas this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, 'Lord please help me to be a man of integrity, to have strength, etc. etc.' I'm thinking (now...I didn't used to) where's the relationship in this? How am I focusing on God in my prayer? As a worship leader I MUST be about God to be effective at all in my worship. I read the other day that worship is our natural response to God when we truly know God. So who is God? Do prayers like 'Lord help me...' really help me to KNOW God? Or do they help me to use God to get things for myself? It's a really tough question, and I know I'm nowhere near an answer yet. Worship involves sacrifice, as David said, (paraphrased) if I will not offer to God that which costs me nothing. I'm willing to take it a step further and say that worship doesn't involve sacrifice, but SELF-sacrifice. 'Those who try to hold onto their life will lose it...' So the question becomes, what am I giving up for the Lord? A Sunday afternoon? Pfft...anyone can do that, as a Christian that is not a sacrifice, that's a given. Am I truly worshiping God when I'm up on stage, or am I focusing on what I can get out of it? Am I giving God the glory He deserves? Do I even know God, to worship Him? Or am I up there to feel good about myself? What am I doing for others lately? Well gee, lets see, I've been trying to comfort some friends lately who've been going through a rough time...yes this is good. However, what are my motives? Am I truly giving my time to them for their sake...am I even helping them? Or am I simply doing it to make sure that I am in their good books, that I can feel good about myself because of it? The bottom line is the more I look at myself, the more I see that I am a disgrace.

Lord, take my life, take my will and my desires, and replace them with Your life, Your will, Your desires. Take my selfishness and replace it with Your Love. Help me to be focused on You entirely. Reveal Yourself to me in ways that I’ve never even imagined. In doing so, allow me to worship you in spirit and in truth. Lord I want to KNOW You, not know everything that I can get from You. Change my heart.

Cheerio, D-Man

Talking to the ceiling (edited)

Well, are some deliberation, I decided to re-post this blog entry...it was basically just a bout of melancholy, but I don't think it was right to post it...so I have edited out the crap and left the good stuff with a little more. Hopefully you will find in to be encouraging...

Have you ever talked to the ceiling before? I have..it goes along the lines of a heart to heart conversation with someone which will never actually take place, for whatever reason. It may be an apology that isn't accepted but ends in your tears anyway. It may be advice that you really want to give. Maybe it's a deep expression of love for that certain someone that you cannot let them know about until the due time. Maybe you really miss someone at that moment, but can't contact them. Or maybe you just need to get something off your chest but you have no one to talk to... Maybe it's some sort of combination of all five of those reasons...

Always these type of talks leave you feeling empty and alone, yet something always draws you back to them, time and time again. Is it because you need to feel like everything will be ok? Even when it is not, do we try and reach out for a touch from heaven in our suffering? God alone knows the answers, and all the while He is trying to comfort you... trying to reach you even more than you are so desperately trying to reach out for anyone. He loves you more than you could possibly know, in fact God is love, and since God is omniscient (everywhere at once) and He loves you completely..how big do you think His love for you is? In fact the bible says, that God has named every single star, He has clothed the flowers of the field in 'more than Solomon in his glory', how much more does God love you?

Whatever you are going through, whatever conversations with the ceiling that you've had, know that God has heard them all and He is there with you...

D-Man

Birthdays and maths

Well, my birthday was yesterday. I turned 20...was a little bit strange, because it really doesn't feel any different from 19. When I turned 19 it was like whoa, I'm not 18 anymore...the strangest feeling, it's hard to describe. But 19-20, there isn't any real feeling of change.

I had a surprise party on Sunday, which was awesome as. I can't believe they got me, lol...you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but yeah. I was rather shocked and so I was fairly quiet and stuff all day because I was trying to process everything. I had a totally awesome day though, which turned into a damn awesome weekend btw. I have the most amazing group of friends in the world, seriously, you guys are so awesome. I really don't deserve any of you, but God's grace is eternal and I and thankful :)

So, how good is God? Damn straight! Every day He amazes me with a little something special, just for me, blows my mind with His grace and love.

I saw the coolest thing the other day, check this out:

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 101%?
What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

AND, look how far the love of God will take you
L-O-V-E - O-F - G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


So yeah...how awesome is it? lol, well, today promises to be a fairly boring day, except for youth tonight...so I better get back to it...

Cheerio D-Man