Hmm... well here I am again, another day another blog. This week has been rather long. I've been rather tired and stupid with my time management this week, so I haven't been getting a lot done. Feels like I've had a very surface week. No really deep and meaningful convos with anyone, which is ok, cos they usually end up being deep and not meaningful...which is crap anyway...I haven't really been spending much time with God lately either which really sucks.
In fact I'm really confused about my life at this point. About what I should and shouldn't be holding onto...on the one hand I believe I should but on the other there's a voice saying but to really hold on you should just let it go, and I've been trying to let go, but it doesn't seem to be working, in fact it just feels like there will never be any sort of resolution if I do. To let go would be to lose hope, and if I do, I'm afraid I'll flip or something, so yeah...really don't know what to do there...
Youth band is going ok...I'm coming to the point of realization that there are greater things ahead, but we are definitely not there yet...when I think of the band, I see great potential, but there are certain attitudes pervading the atmosphere that are not good at all. As a worshiper, we must be so humble in EVERYTHING we do, and at the moment I'm just not getting that. I mean where IS the servant heart in all of this? What am I doing for others?
I can't help thinking back to a couple of years ago. I know I shouldn't dwell on the past, but life seemed so much easier back then. I can remember talking with Nathan, my brother, a couple of weeks before he went up to Canberra about how much I was enjoying serving people, and it just feels like I've lost something precious from that time. I dunno, maybe it's just me, maybe not.
Things are a real drag at the moment..probably because I'm not seeing any results anywhere, and thoughts come at me like 'ha, since you're not getting any results you must be doing something wrong...' I dunno, it's just frustrating.
On a lighter note...I brought Walk The Line the other day..haven't seen it yet because I let it to LeeAnne, but I've been hanging out for it all week. It came with a sound track which was pretty good actually. I didn't think I'd like it at all, because I've heard Johnny Cash before and it bored me to tears, but I didn't actually mind it..was heaps different to what I usually listen to, but it wasn't half bad. I also saw the new version of Pride and Prejudice last night, which is REALLY good! I'd recommend it much!
Haha, this is a really long blog entry, so I guess I shall leave you with my favorite verse...
'Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.' - Hebrews 11:1
Cheerio, D-Man
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