I miss you

I miss your eyes
I miss your smile
I miss the way you cry
I miss the way you laugh
I miss the way you speak
I miss the way you say my name
I miss the way we tease each other
I miss the way you are always there
I miss the way you brighten up my day
I miss the way I can fall alseep to your voice
I miss the way I can wake up to your quiet breathing
I miss the way you comfort me when I'm sad or tired
I miss you

Pain

Sadness. Tears. Grief. Hurt. Loneliness. Emptiness. Numbness. Anger. Darkness. Despair. Death.

I feel.
Fear.
What do I do? Where do I go?

No one to help me through but myself, and I fail miserably.
Time and time again.
Full of shame at my failures.

How can I be so full and yet so empty?
Years go by and I accomplish nothing of consequence.
Life goes to waste and I can do nothing.

Arguments with those closest, roll overheard like stormy clouds, leaving a sickening sense of dread in the stomach.

Doubt.
Am I wrong?
Am I right?
Pushed down. Never dealt with.
The well is covered over and forgotten.
And with it I lose my humanity.

I fail once again.
One for each decision I make.
Will I ever make it? Even once?

My heart cries out in pain.

Dismantle. Repair.

One last glance in a taxi cab
Images scar my mind
Four weeks felt like years
Since your full attention was all mine
The night was young and so were we
Talked about life, God, death, and your family
Did not want any promises,
Just my undivided honesty, and you said

Oh, things are going to change now for the better
Oh, things are going to change

I am the patron saint of lost causes
A fraction of who I once believed (change)
It's only a matter of time
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I have got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang

Oh, things are going to change now for the better
And oh, things are going to change

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Give me time to prove
Prove I want the rest of yours (prelude)
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you
It's not that I hang on every word
I hang myself on what you repeat
It's not that I keep hanging on
I'm never letting go

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Save me from myself
Save me from myself
Help me save me from myself
Save me from myself

Oh, things are going to change now for the better
And oh, things are going to change

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

- anberlin